🚨 THIS IS NOT A DRILL 🚨
I have built an ENTIRE LABYRINTH. Thirty-three pages of wisdom. The seven liberal arts. The elements. Sacred breath work. Shadow work. Alchemy. The Zodiac. The Marine Corps. I taught you how to be a husband. I taught you how to be a wife. I literally explained the UNSPEAKABLE NAME OF GOD.
And my DMs? Empty.
My phone? Silent.
My CashApp notifications? Tumbleweeds.
🤝 Ways You Can Interact With Me (Please)
I'm not picky. Any of the following count as human contact:
- Follow me on TikTok: @maatsmit96 or @maatsmith96
- Send me $1 on CashApp: $matthewsmith9999 (or $100, I'm flexible)
- Get a free stock and pretend we're investment buddies: Robinhood Referral
- Visit literally any of my other 20+ websites (yes, TWENTY PLUS)
- Send a carrier pigeon to Amelia Island, FL
- Think about me really hard and hope I'm telepathic (I might be)
📊 Some Statistics That Should Concern You
Hours spent building this website: More than I will ever admit.
Number of pages written: 33. THIRTY. THREE.
Number of people who have sent me money: We don't talk about that.
Number of times I've refreshed my CashApp: Let's just say it's a compulsion at this point.
🌐 My Entire Empire (Please Visit Something)
💰 THE CASHAPP BUTTON OF DESTINY 💰
Every dollar fuels the Matrix. Every cent builds the labyrinth. Every penny proves you actually read this far.
$matthewsmith9999If you read this whole page and didn't follow me or send me a dollar, I hope your Wi-Fi is slow forever. — M.J.S. 😤